Secrets of Alan and Kathie – part 1

Alan looked down at his phone and was surprised to see his good friend Kathie calling.

It was 11:30 at night and he was just getting ready for bed as he caught up on some Sportscenter, as he lounged on his bed in his room, which was located in the back of a house that he rented from. The home was a beautiful two-story craftsman in an old neighborhood near the private university where he went to school. It was a good setup for a 23-year-old kid finishing up school after some meandering semesters of life’s early indecisions.

He’d first met Kathie Joseph after being hired on as a bank teller at a local credit union near to his place. She was also a business student at the same university and they’d become good friends thanks to their shared jobs and majors. They had numerous classes together and often met on campus for lunch or study sessions.

Kathie was an absolute cutie-pie with a body that put in some work. She wore these pencil skirts every day to the bank which caused Alan’s heart to have constantly irregular palpitations and forced his belt to sometimes do some major boner-concealment within his dress slacks.

She was the cute girl next door that still didn’t fully know how sexy she had become in the years since leaving high school—a flower in a room without mirrors. But everyone around her knew it. She had dark brunette hair that she wore in attractive layers and always down, and she wore these cinnamon Watson Eyeglasses that left her looking like the most popular librarian working the night shift at a college library. Her hair would often fall over part of her face and she was always brushing it back behind her ears. Alan noticed every single maneuver. He was totally smitten with the girl.

Unfortunately, Kathie, like so many girls before her in the history of the world, had a thing for the worst breed of guys. Since he’d first met her, she had been with an absolute shit-stain of a boyfriend whom Alan received constant play-by-plays of when it came to their vast and various relationship problems.

Her boyfriend was lazy, uninspired, unaware of the things that seemed most important to her, and at times could be completely dismissive. He drove a raised truck with a Monster energy drink claw sticker on the back window and loved video games and weekend drunken golfing with his buddies far more than he ever appeared to love her. He attended the same school they did (when he actually went to class that is) and his parents seemed to have firmly lodged a silver spoon up both ends from a very early age.

They looked good together in pictures and it felt like the right guy to be with Kathie—she had grown up in the same well-to-do neighborhood with his family, but Alan always knew it stunk to the high heavens.

He did what he could to be the solid friend with a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bitch to when she needed it, but he knew that was as far as he could take it. If he revealed how into her he was, he might jeopardize what was an absolutely stellar friendship and he didn’t want that to happen, so he played the ultimate waiting game in his friend’s gradually imploding relationship.

He knew that their fights had gotten worse as of late, and when he saw her calling that late on a weeknight he knew it probably had something to do with the micropenis’d dickwad (something he’d concluded based on his own astute observations of the dude’s typical social media interactions).

When he answered the phone he could immediately hear Kathie crying. Apparently, as he would come to learn through sniffles and nose-blows, a big fight had erupted earlier that night and some terrible things had been said. The relationship was on the precipice of disaster and the dickwad had stormed out to go to a strip club with his buddies or something. He was drunk (and probably driving now). It all fit the script that Alan had become accustomed to.

The dick was being a dick again. What else was known?

This was a little bit unusual but she asked, but she asked if she could come over. She didn’t want to be at their apartment at that moment. Alan of course said yes. She was on her way as soon as she could gather herself together.

She parked in his back driveway some twenty minutes later. She didn’t live that far away.

When Alan saw her he felt the pangs of his heart immediately doing their thing. Her makeup was all over the place with her hair all pulled up in a disheveled clump. It was clear she’d been stuffing her face into the corner of a couch—the pain of a relationship fight could ache like the pain of a migraine. She looked dazed, but still as pretty as ever. She was wearing a zip-up sweatshirt and a pair of old Victoria’s Secret Pink branded sweat pants that were charcoal with a black waistband and white drawstring. Her feet were in slip on sandals—a small purse under her arm held a big bottle of water sticking out of it.

Alan took her into his strong arms at the back door of the house as she immediately broke down into a silent sob. The part of the home that he rented was cordoned off to a room and side bathroom with its own outside entrance which provided a nice modicum of it feeling like he had his own place. If nothing else, he could have late night visitors come and go without ever having to bug the lovely, older couple that he rented from.

He held her 5’4 frame in his arms as he stroked the back of her soft hair. She sobbed into his chest and made his t-shirt wet with her tears.

He led her into the house and closed and locked the door, grabbing a nearby box of tissues that he kept on a hallway shelf along the way.

“You okay?” Alan said gently as he stroked her back softly with his hands.

“Yeah…do you have any alcohol in this house?” She asked, half-smiling through her soggy face. It was a delirious sort of cuteness in the face of a storm.

Alan escaped momentarily to the fridge and came back with a six-pack of IPA’s.

“This is all I have currently…oh and the last half bottle of my Woodford Reserve is in my room.” He said.

“That’ll work. Let’s drink.” She said it in a somber but stoically determined sort of way. Kathie was ready to get fucked up.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Alan asked.

“No. Do you?” She said in return.

“Yeah, but not ’till 5.” He assured her.

They sat down on his bed together and she began on the whole story. She cried a little bit, and they made their way through their first few beers rather quickly as she explained the whole debacle to her incredibly reliable friend.

Then after she was done cathartically finishing her rant about the douch prickle, they decided a shot certainly couldn’t hurt.

“Ahhh, burns so good!” Kathie jokes, as the whiskey traveled down her throat. Alan refilled their shot glasses and they downed them one more time as they both made the appropriate faces all throughout.

Alan flipped on an episode of the Office from his Netflix account and they cracked up laughing together as they sat against the pillow, leaned up against the headboard of Alan’s bed and snuggled together under one of his throw blankets.

Kathie put her head on Alan’s shoulder and he loved the way her raspberry lotion seemed to waft over him slowly. She was so sexy and feminine even in her moments of raw unpreparedness.

After they’d laughed their way through an episode they cracked open another beer and Alan flipped off the TV so they could talk some more. They’d both scooted down so they were fully laying on the bed now. Kathie lay against Alan’s chest as they stared up at the ceiling and talked about all sorts of various topics, only lifting their heads when they needed to take a swig of their hoppy tonic.

At some point the topic drifted back over to Kathie’s taintwad of a boyfriend, which Alan really had been hoping to avoid, but the topic specifically related to sex, so he didn’t immediately steer Kathie away from this. He was too curious to learn about her sex life with this loser she had stuck with for so long.

“And he never wants to have sex!” Kathie started in angrily again as she lay her hand against Alan’s chest and started to complain about this slightly more intimate element of what was wrong with her current boyfriend.

“Seriously? What guy doesn’t want to have sex? That makes ZERO sense to me.” Alan said, as he knew he should. “You’re sexy as fuck, what the hell is wrong with him??” Alan said it so casually.

Kathie looked up at her friend and beamed at his compliment. She was a little tipsy, and it felt good to have a good-looking guy objectify her a little bit. Her boyfriend certainly hadn’t shown any sexual interest in quite some time.

“I dunno…It’s weird. Our sex is good when we actually HAVE it but he has this super low sex drive which sucks because I am like the opposite. I’m ALWAYS fucking horny!” Kathie whined, and Alan wondered if the booze was helping with these brave confessions of her most private self.

“Really? So like, how often do you guys have sex?” Alan asked, ever intrigued. Kathie thought about it for a second.

“Probably like…once or twice a week…but that is not even CLOSE to being enough for me. It drives me absolutely crazy.” Kathie said as she sucked her lips down over the bottle of the IPA and swigged it cutely. She got up and sat cross-legged next to Alan while they talked. She was becoming very animated now.

“I think I intimidate him a little bit in bed cuz I think guys just aren’t used to girls who are so horny or sexually sure of themselves and what they want.” She said, analyzing her sex life.

“Yeah, I totally get that,” Alan said as he got up to sit opposite her in a similar manner. “But he should be stoked by that…I’d love to date a girl that was always craving my cock or had a super high sex drive!” Alan smiled at her and she smiled back at him shaking her head as she felt her skin tingle with the mention of Alan’s cock.

“Such a waste of my sexual prime, I can tell you that.” Kathie said, drinking more of the beer. “I mean, fucking look at me! Look at this body! It was made to have sex!” She said, and the friends laughed back and forth with each other as they became more comfortable in their intoxication.

Alan reached over and poured them each one more shot apiece as he handed Kathie her tumblr. “Cheers to that, Jess!” They clinked and downed another one.

Their heads were definitely buzzing now. Kathie yawned and stretched her arms and her sweatshirt rose up her belly a little, which showed off her sexy stomach and soft skin. She felt good at that moment. The alcohol had been a good idea.

“Alan, thanks for being such a good friend…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Of course babe. Anytime. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he didn’t want to have more sex with you!” Alan stated, keeping the topic on sex which he was having quite a lot of fun talking about with this gorgeous girl in his bed.

“Yeah, well, I think part of it was my confidence, but I think the other problem is that I was just too kinky for him.” She said this as she licked the lip of her beer bottle absent-mindedly, almost chewing it. She was horny from the alcohol—pissed still, but also definitely horny.

Alan couldn’t believe what she had just said. He wondered if he could press her to expand on that but thought better of it. That might be a little too creepy if he asked his good friend what her kinks were that the shizznizzle wasn’t interested in.

“Hey, do you mind if I crash here? I’m exhausted after this night and I don’t want to go back to that apartment and wait for him to get back from the club smelling like cheap vodka and hooker perfume.” She asked Alan suddenly.

“It’s fine with me babe, but you should probably know, cheap vodka and hooker perfume is the scent of my fabric softener so you might not enjoy staying here as much as you think.” Alan joked.

She reached for a pillow and smacked him in the face with it and he grabbed it and bonked her back as they fell back on the bed together laughing like little kids.

“You don’t mind if I fall asleep with you, do you? I don’t want to sleep by myself tonight…please don’t do the valiant, ‘I’ll-sleep-on-the-carpet’ thing. I don’t need a gentleman or anything. I just wouldn’t mind having someone close by me right now.” She said it so sweetly that you could hardly tell there was some seduction in her voice.

Secrets of Alan and Kathie – part 1 will continue in the next page.

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