A confession about interesting hotel experience – 03

It appears she can think for herself when Dee is not around playing devil’s advocate.

Shellie continued.​​ “Dee convinced me it would be safe. You would never find out and you would never get hurt. It was going to be a one off. Just like hers was. I got caught up with the planning and the excitement. I’ve never had anybody but you and Dee convinced me it was worth the risk as the risk was so low, providing we planned it properly.

“Doubts set in as soon as he picked me up from the bank and on the drive down there. Harold was a bit, how can we say ‘energetic’ in his driving, and then I had a thought, what if we had a car accident or anything. We hadn’t considered that. It would destroy you.

“As Harold was booking in I looked into the mirror behind the receptionist desk. I thought to myself, and you’ve said it often enough. ‘Do I like the person looking back at me’, and at that moment in time I hated the person looking back at me and I decided not to go through with it, to come home and tell you how stupid I’d been.

“Then when the receptionist looked at me and smiled, I could tell she knew I was about to cheat on my husband. I was already having doubts, but if she could see it so would you and then the excitement Dee and I built up was gone and I was left with a naked fear. So even if I stopped now, it might be too late to save my marriage, but I know you. If I had gone ahead with it would be over for ever. So, at that point I was leaving, and I pulled away from Harold.

“Then she used my real name and gave me the envelope. I guessed what was in it, so you knew all along. You must have told the receptionist. It didn’t matter how she knew. It was still the look on her face.”

I told Shellie how the receptionist had told me how they recognise cheaters and that she and Harold followed the exact scenario, so I didn’t need to tell her, she would have seen it straight away.

“So did you give any thought to what would happen if you got caught?”

“I did, but every time I brought it up Dee would just tell me it was foolproof, you wouldn’t know, so it wouldn’t hurt you. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t even think about the parents and what they would think if I got caught.

“She told me the experience would be good for the both of us, I might learn new things to please you with. I now know that’s a crock of shit because you would wonder where I had got them from.”

“Dee planned everything, it worked for her, I just went along with it. But we planned everything, no strange flirty clothes, no late nights. All late working was real, and we always told you. I came home early from our girl’s night out or got you to pick me up. We wouldn’t give you any reason to worry.”

“Ah you see, that was part of your downfall. You studiously wore the same sort of clothes whatever the weather or going out with your friends, that in itself was a giveaway you were hiding something. Coming home early from girl’s nights out. Again, totally unusual and your excuse about being bored just didn’t hold water. Getting me to pick you up from happy hour just so you could show off how much you loved me to your work mates by hanging all over me. And the sex was fantastic. I assume it was guilty sex?”

“Partly yes, because of what I was planning to do, but mainly because I love you and like doing it with you.”

“Or as a comparison with Harold?”

She gave me a quizzical look. “No, that never crossed my mind.”

I continued. “I saw all that and got worried and started following you. Turning up earlier than we planned to pick you up. You were brilliant. You never put a foot wrong until two weeks ago at the contract winning party. You asked me to pick you up at ten. I got there at nine and hung around in the corner. No one saw me. I watched you, you only had one dance with Harold and when he thought no one was watching he fondled your breast.

And you didn’t stop him. That would have got anyone else a slap. So, from that, I felt as you let him cop a feel, something was planned. Then when you came home last week and said you were on a symposium all the warning signs lit up like a Christmas tree. Even if I hadn’t seen the group I would still have followed you, but it gave me the chance for a photo.

“You were just too perfect. You were never late, even by one minute, that’s not like you. You’re sometimes five or ten minutes late when it doesn’t matter. You always phoned well before time if you were working late and I’m sure if I checked you were always working. You asked me to pick you up when you went out for the evening, you’ve never done that before. I generally offered but you almost insisted and you’re always waiting for me. I didn’t have to ease you out like I normally did. And when you went out for an evening you dressed down, dowdy, not smart like normal.

“You even asked me to help you pack your clothes so I could see there was nothing sexy in there. You’ve never done that before. Did Dee have your sexy lingerie then?”

“No there wasn’t any, I just took the nightgown you saw me pack. I normally sleep naked, you know that but that didn’t seem right with another man.”

She looked down at her tea and said quietly. “So, we weren’t as smart as we thought we were. Shit I feel so stupid for following Dee’s advice.” She looked at me and carried on. “And you warned me so many times. What an utter fool I have been.” Tears were pouring down her face dropping into her tea.

She pulled herself together, took the sip of the cold tea and grimaced. “I was having doubts about going through with it, when that receptionist looked at me, she could tell that I was going to cheat on my husband. And if she saw it so would you, you would know and it would hurt you and you would leave me. Then it hit me that it was so wrong on every level.

“Sweetheart, I’ll do anything, I’ll sign a postnuptial agreement with a solicitor sorting it out, I will leave with nothing. I’ll do anything. I’d rather not but if you insist, I’ll even tell my Mum and Dad and yours and if you take me back it will make me look bad and you look better.”

I wouldn’t do that to the oldies, any of them.

Shellie carried on. “It’s no excuse. I can’t even say I didn’t know what I was thinking, I knew exactly what I was thinking. That you would never know about it. It would not hurt you and it would be an experience for me. I like planning, you know that, and I got wound up in the planning for this, but not seeing where it would end, and every time I had doubts Dee had a reasonable alternative reason or excuse. I’m sorry sweetheart I was so wrong,”

The big question. “Why?” I asked.

“It was for the experience. You would never find out and you would never get hurt. Dee ensured me it would be safe and fun. I’ve never had anybody but you and it was only going to be the once. Dee convinced me it was worth the risk as the risk was so low, as long as we planned it carefully. Because she had done it, we knew all the pitfalls. I now think Dee was probably drunk on the fact she got away with it, and it would be the same for me, and that she would have company somebody who cheated on their husband with Harold. Sorry, that’s just hindsight that’s just come to me.”

“So what were you going to do when you decided not to go through with it?” I asked her.

“I don’t really know, my initial thought was to get a taxi and go to the symposium, there is a room there for me anyway, and I wouldn’t have to tell you what a fool I’ve been. But then I realized that would just make it worse, a funny thought flashed through my mind, I just hoped you could get off work and come and save me.

I know this sounds all made-up because I got the letter and you knew all about it. But those are the things that were rushing around in my head. Sweetheart, I was so confused. I felt so guilty. I’m still trying to get it sorted out in my head now. I was so stupid to even let it get this far. I’m sorry sweetheart.”

I sat and pondered a bit, I knew what I wanted to do, but what did she want?

“What do you want to do now?” I asked.

“I want my husband to take me home so I can start making it up to him. To apologize for being a stupid cunt. For not taking his advice and being foolish enough to think I could get something over on him. I never disrespected him, but from his point of view that is what it will look like and finally, I have to start building trust. I know it won’t be easy and I’m not sure how to do it yet, but I can’t do that if I’m not with him.