Love for my mom

“And just so you know Rose, it’s been several years now since your Aunt and I did anything with one another. So it’s not like we’ve been having this secret little thing with one another all this time either. Because we haven’t. But…like I said, it was the one thing we did share, the one thing that when either one of us was upset, hurt, that we would use in comforting one another. After I told her about what had happened to me, after what Jerry had done, she came over of course to discuss it with me. And quite naturally, after what we’d done in the past,

it seemed quite normal to do so again. Allow that intimate caring aspect we’d once shared together, to happen again. That’s why she was sucking my breast Rose, so yes…if you’re wondering, had you not come in when you did, no doubt the two of us would have ended up in the bedroom shortly after that, going down on one another, just like we used to do for one another. I’m not trying to justify any of this, just finally be honest and open with you about it. You’re not a child any more Rose, far from it. You’re an adult now.

And as an adult, you have the right to hear all this, from me…and from your Aunt too if you ever feel like discussing any of this with her. Which I might add, she’s hoping you will at some point. The last thing she wants is for any of this to come between the two of you either.”

“So…this was all because of Jerry? Him slapping you, that the two of you ended up on the couch together like that?”

“Yes,” mom said, sitting back in her chair again, looking relieved that she’d at last told me everything. “I know it must still be quite a shock hearing this. Realizing that your own mother, and her sister, have…well, had intimate relations with one another on and off over the years. But there it is Rose. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it won’t happen again either at some point, it probably will in fact.

That’s just the way it’s always been between us. We’ve used that as a means of comforting each other during hard or difficult times. So it’s not like we’re having this ongoing, constant sexual relationship with one another. Just once in a while, usually because of things or situations like this, with Jerry,” she finished.

“Ok,” I said, actually accepting all this, no longer as angry or as hurt as I had been. In a strange way, it all actually made sense, and I could understand why they had…why they still did. But I was also secretly, still a bit jealous because of it. Which certainly didn’t help my situation any. If anything…now knowing all this, it just made it worse!

“So…now you know the entire story, though I’m sure it’s still a lot to absorb, seeing what you did see, and almost seeing what you didn’t. I do hope honey, that you’ll find a way to forgive me for it though, someway, somehow. And you’re aunt too for that matter. She cares about you an awful lot, and she’s probably even more nervous and upset about all of this than I am. So I hope you two will get a chance to talk, if you want to.”

I figured we would, eventually. But right now, mom was right. This was a lot to take in suddenly.

“I’ll be the first to admit though honey, I am relieved. I’m glad I’m not carrying this secret around with me anymore. And I promise…no more secrets either. There shouldn’t be any secrets between us now. We’re both adults, and it’s about time I started treating you like one.”

Mom stood preparing to leave.

“Ah mom?”

“Yes honey?”

“Sit down…I need to tell you something.”

**

I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Perhaps the old saying “honesty is the best policy” really wasn’t. Or maybe my timing was just off, especially after what she’d just finished telling me. But to hear that her own daughter very often masturbated, fantasizing about her own mother, and that I had been for years, wasn’t something she was ready to hear about just then, let alone wrap her mind around. She just sat there staring at me for the longest time before finally saying, “But…but I’m your mother!”

“Yeah? So? And Aunt Stella’s your sister, is one any worse than the other?” I asked.

She was obviously flustered, unable, or perhaps unwilling to respond to that. “I need…I need to think Rose,” she said, and then stood, and then without another single word…mom walked out of my bedroom. I sat there looking at the once again closed door for the longest time, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

**

One thing’s for sure, if anything, our little chat seemed to put additional distance between us. For the next several days we basically avoided one another, though if and when we did sit down together, over dinner…or later while watching TV, we hardly spoke. And if then, it was usually about the weather, or how her job went that day. Gone was the laughter, the joking, the teasing of one another. And the time sitting near her saying nothing, well like they say, the silence was deafening.

It had been like that for nearly a week now, and I was so torn up inside, I was seriously contemplating taking a job elsewhere and then moving out. Get a place of my own, ready or not. I had gone up to my bedroom far earlier on a Friday night than I usually did too, saying goodnight to her, cordially, even finding it awkward when I leaned over kissing her on the cheek. It was as though even that now held some secret, vile obscene connotation to it that was making any affection whatsoever between us impossible to continue with.

I slipped on what I usually wore to go to bed, a pair of panties only, and then slipped between the sheets turning out the lights. It was barely past ten o’clock as I lay there trying to go to sleep, which fifteen minutes later as I lay there with my eyes wide-open, was proving fruitless. There was only one thing I could do that usually helped with that.

Though even then I was reluctant to do so. I knew what images, no matter how I started out, would end up inside my head long before ever reaching orgasm…if in fact I even did. I had even put my headphones on, listening to soft music, which very often in the past, had helped lull me to sleep. I slipped one hand down the waistband of the white cotton panties I had on, and began touching myself.

The other, fingering and toying with my breasts as I very often did, those uncovered by the sheet as I lay there, the images now of course forming inside my head. Only different this time. No longer me sitting on mom’s lap…but sitting next to her, kissing and sucking her breast just the way I had seen Aunt Stella doing.

So absorbed in my thoughts, the music…I didn’t hear mom’s gentle knock on the door, nor her opening it even though I hadn’t invited her in. How long she stood there looking at me, I honestly don’t know. But obviously she saw and knew what I was doing. I next felt her weight added to the bed, my eyes suddenly popping open, my hand flying out from beneath my panties, the other suddenly reaching for my headphones yanking them off.

“What the fuck?” I literally screamed out, startled more than anything, and a bit embarrassed too perhaps.

Mom didn’t say anything though in response to that. What she did instead was place her hand on one of my breasts, caressing it, and then leaned forward, drawing the other one into her mouth!

And all I could do was lay there, trying to sort this all out in my own head, though slowly…and sure enough, succumbing to the sweet ecstasy I was now feeling. All these years, all this torment, all the private, dirty, naughty thoughts I had ever had about mom and me…were suddenly being realized, in a way at least. But the fact was…mom was sucking my tit, and it felt heavenly!