John’s change when Stanley made into his life – 01

But it was the crowd around the back room that really gathered my attention. Several oh’s and laughs were coming from that direction, so, curiosity as my lead, I went that way. There was a large room, the doorway blocked by several large imbeciles that were laughing and making extremely rude comments.

“Dude, look at his pajamas!”

“No, look at her. Damn, she looks fine!”

“I could take him.”

“Man, he would rip you a new asshole.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah! He’s got all that Bruce Lee shit going on and all you got is your bouncer muscles!”

“Do you know how many guys have tried to pick a fight with me and lost?”

I somehow managed to wiggle my way right up next to the big brute and look into the room that held the small crowd’s interest. There were several students there, practicing some form of Karate. Their movements were swift and precise. Their uniforms are crisp white, tied with varying colored belts.

An older gentleman led them, calling out moves they should make, carrying a large wooden sword that looked like several thin pieces of bamboo tied together to make it up. The man, presumably their teacher, would smack it lightly across their backs, shoulders, legs, arms, whatever he found that was not correct. They would correct it immediately, never looking at him, never losing focus of what they were doing except to yell out “Thank you, Sensei!”

The guys around me laughed and mimicked what the students were doing, but I was strangely enthralled. It looked so simple, yet so forceful. Their movements were almost beautiful.

“They don’t actually think that crap works in a real fight, do they?” Several of the guys laughed. “That Chinese crap only works in the movies with special effects.”

“If you look at the décor around the room, you’ll notice the style they are practicing is Japanese, not Chinese, you big ape.” I took a long sip of my coffee, draining the cup. “And of course it works, else it would not have lasted for the last thousand years or so.”

“What did you say to me, preppy?”

“You’re in college, you moron, try not to be such a simpleton.” I gave him a withering look out of the corner of my eye while a familiar tension built up in my stomach. I was asking for it, I knew and I didn’t care. “Start using a Q-tip once and awhile and you might learn something.”

“Why you little-“

Perhaps I should have at least tried to duck, or back into the crowd behind me, but I just couldn’t seem to do it. Instead, I threw my empty Styrofoam cup at his head as he pulled his fist back to hit me; watched it bounce off his face. His vacant expression didn’t last long. I was soon flying through the door into the room full of students, my mouth throbbing, and a 6’3″ football player coming to stand over me to finish what my big mouth had started. As he came at me, I threw out a leg to catch him and let his momentum propel him up and over me, landing in the middle of the students.

I really didn’t have long to be proud of myself. I had just dragged myself back to my feet when his buddy, Dog Face, decided to ram his head into my stomach. Okay, first lesson? Pills and caffeine don’t make a great breakfast.

Second lesson? If someone rams their head into your stomach just after having had both but nothing else, you will be tempted to puke everything you’ve ever eaten. Don’t give into this temptation, it won’t taste good. If you do give in, just swallow it down so you don’t ruin the floor. Third lesson? Never start a fight that will end up landing in the middle of a Karate class. The students will kick your ass, not to mention the teacher.

Before anyone was able to land a second blow, the students were fighting back the crowd that had followed us in, several were holding us back from each other, and the teacher stood between us, arms out, a look of pure rage on his face. “You will cease this immediately! Do not disrespect this Dojo further with your insolence!”

Someone had me in a bear hug from behind, pulling me back. Who would have guessed I would have been just as eager as the jocks to jump right back into the fight that I was so badly losing?

“You three,” The teacher yelled, pointing at the three of us. “In my office now! Stanley, Will, follow just to help keep these three in line for a minute. The rest of you clear out! Class dismissed.”

“Yes, Sensei!” The students yelled as one.

“Yeah, as if they could take us on!” Moron retorted, still trying to shrug off two students that were holding onto his arms. “All those fancy moves got nothing on me!”

“Yeah, you tell ’em,’ ‘ Dog Face said, nodding in agreement, trying his hardest to make his pimply face look threatening. If anything, it reminded me to pick up more Oxy Clear at the nearby Wal-Mart.

The teacher got a really nasty gleam in his eye as he walked right up to Moron. Now, Moron was a good five inches taller than the teacher, but Moron still backed up with an apprehensive look on his face. The teacher came within inches of him. “Do you want to test that theory with me?”

Moron rapidly began shaking his head back and forth, nothing but obedience now. “No, sir.”

“That’s what I thought. Now in my office.” He led the way to the back of the room where a tiny little office with two glass walls opened into the dojo. With six of us all piling in, it was a good thing I wasn’t claustrophobic. The person that had held me in the bear hug was still behind me with a hand on my shoulder as I was standing next to Dog Face. I’m just glad I didn’t have to stand next to Moron. I didn’t want to take the chance that his incompetence would rub off.

The scary teacher stood behind his desk, looking at the three of us as though we were there just to ruin his day. “Tell me why you three found it necessary to disrupt my class today in such a fashion.”

Dog Face and Moron jumped right into a large explanation, both coming up with facts as they hit their small brains. Apparently, as they were innocently watching the class from beyond the door, I came up and started making very rude comments that they were greatly offended at. After insulting both boys, I told them they were girls and couldn’t hit a fly. I then assaulted Moron by throwing my hot coffee at him, luckily not scarring his beautiful face, and threw the first punch. The fight took off from there.