Your cock is beautiful – 8

“…do you like it?” I asked.

“Yes…yes…” she gasped.

“Does it make you happy?” I asked, pulling a little harder and twisting.

She was breathing heavily now, each breath a quick, sharp, sigh.

“Yessss….” she whispered.

I let go.

“Ok.” I said. “You can go now.”

Whatever we were doing, wherever this was going to go, it couldn’t happen tonight. I had no real plan, I was exhausted from sleep deprivation. And most importantly, I still wasn’t sure about my own feelings.

I expected her to stand up and go, but she hesitated, turning her head a little to the side and avoiding my eyes. At first I felt the anger swell up in me at her disobedience, but I quickly realized that I hadn’t actually told her to leave, I’d just said that she could. I normally just said “Get out.”, and I wasn’t sure why I’d been more polite this time. I made a note to be more direct when I spoke to her. If I wanted her to do something, I had to make sure I told her.

But my own reaction surprised me. I was already so used to her obeying me that it infuriated me when she even hesitated. I’d have to watch out for that. I could be angry with her, but I couldn’t lose my temper.

“I…” she started, interrupting my thoughts.

“What? Did you want something?” I asked.

“I don’t know…” she said slowly.

“Tell me what you want, Mia.” I said, trying to put a firm tone to my voice.

She met my eye slowly, shyly. She bit her lower lip.

I reached out and held her chin. I realized that I really liked holding her like this, by the chin or jaw. It felt…possessive, somehow. Even without gripping tightly or hurting her, I was holding her in place, and she wouldn’t look away from me.

“I…I want you to…to have sex with me.” she said slowly.

“No. Not tonight.” I said.

She whimpered quietly and her body squirmed. She looked disappointed, but still hopeful.

“Tell me what you want, slut.” I said.

“Can I suck your…cock, please?” she said.

She’d accepted my refusal and asked for something else, without argument. She sounded so mournful, so pleading.

“No.” I said.

She let out a little whine as she stared at me with those wide, green eyes. I ran my fingers across her cheek and slid them behind her ear, putting my thumb gently against her lips. She parted them and took my thumb into her mouth, biting down gently and licking it with just the tip of her tongue.

“Tell me what you want.” I repeated, pulling my hand away.

I…”, she said, “…I…”.

She seemed afraid to ask, afraid of another rejection.

“Will you kiss me? Please?” she said.

I smiled. She had to beg for even this.

I took her chin again and leaned forward, bringing my lips to hers. Just like the first time we kissed, I started gently, taking her lower lip between mine, but then biting down hard. She moaned loudly, surprising me, and brought her hands up to my face. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. I’d never kissed anyone other than her so I didn’t have any experience, but I tried some things I’d read about, moving my tongue slowly in circles in her mouth. She responded by moaning louder and pushing against me.

I moved back and she climbed into bed with me, sliding under the covers. I held her body against mine. I could feel the passion, the need in her body, in her clutching fingers on my shoulders and back.

We kissed for minutes before I pulled away from her. She licked her lips, which were red around the edges, and she was breathing heavily with a bright smile on her face. She ran her eyes down my face and body, studying me, before meeting my eyes again. Our legs were overlapping and she pushed her crotch back against my raised thigh. She ground her panties against me, biting her lip as a long, low moan escaped her throat. Her nipples were pressing hard against her t-shirt.

I laughed gently, even as I felt my cock stiffen. I loved seeing her like this, so needy. So deliciously desperate.

“Will you fuck me?” she whispered.

“No, Mia. Not tonight.” I said firmly.

She bit her lip and leaned close to me, whispering right in my ear.

“Please, please, I’m so wet. I can’t stop thinking about you. About your cock. Please fuck me…” she said quickly.

My dick was completely hard, but I couldn’t do this tonight. I was too tired, too confused. I needed time to think. I grabbed her hair and pulled her away from me. She gasped with pain and looked up at me from where I held her.

“I love you.” she whispered, staring into my eyes.

“Get out.” I said, releasing her.

The look on her face, the hurt, the devastation, it was almost…painfully beautiful.

For some reason it reminded me of the first time I ever got drunk.

Stella and I were maybe 15 at the time, and it was at some party of a family friend. Come to think of it, Mia and her family had been there too. We’d each been given half a glass of red wine, just to try it. Mia and Stella drank theirs in one swallow, shuddering and laughing at the taste that disgusted them.

I’d sipped mine slowly, screwing up my face in displeasure each time. When I finished I sneaked off and found a full, unattended glass and continued. It disgusted me too at first, but I wanted to learn to appreciate the taste like the adults did, talking about the scents and flavors they could make out. After my second glass, it didn’t disgust me quite as much, but I still didn’t like it. So I found a third.

It was just like now, with her devastated expression. The pain in her eyes, and in her voice, brought a bitter feeling with it, as seeing the pain of another human should. But there was a sweetness to it. A deep, satisfying taste that felt almost addictive. There was something about her completely dejected, submissive attitude that moved me, that spoke to some deep-seated desire to see her suffer.