Your cock is beautiful – 39

In that moment, in her, I could see all of these aspects, all these stages of her life in which I knew her. And there was still so much about her I didn’t know.

She was my childhood bully, my sister’s best friend, my first real crush.

My first crush…

I’d actually forgotten about that. Again, I smiled and shook my head. The memory filtered through the fog of time before my eyes. I liked her. Like, I liked her. When we were kids, she was the prettiest thing imaginable. Before she started to hate me, and I her. Before she took my sister from me. Before anything was anything. She was little Mia, practically the girl next door.

How could one person be so many things? Contain so much?

I wanted to wake her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to kiss those red lips, and feel her hair between my fingers.

Well… why couldn’t I? I owned her now, didn’t I?

I gently stroked her face, and softly said her name.

She stirred slowly, and opened her eyes. She smiled when she saw me, and moved to sit up.

I kissed her suddenly, not forcefully, but not exactly gently either. She giggled and returned my kiss, her hands gripping my shoulder and neck. I ran my hands up into her hair and kissed her passionately.

After a few minutes of kissing, I pulled away a little breathless.

“Mm… What a way to be woken up.” Mia smiled.

I laughed and lay back down. I stretched my arm out behind her, as she was already moving to rest her head against my chest. She nestled into me and sighed.

“So how do you feel?” I asked.

“Really good.” she said, sighing again.

“Good.” I said.

I waited a minute for her to elaborate, but she seemed content to lie in silence.

“What about the… the session? It seemed to hit you pretty hard.” I said.

“Oh… this is… a ‘briefing’, right?” she asked.

“A what?”

“Or a debriefing? Like, where we talk about the scene we had, and how we felt about it and stuff.” she said, “It was in one of the links I found.”

“So you’ve really done some research?” I said.

“Yep. Except, I had to go into my internet browser’s settings and disable all the pictures for a little while. Some of those websites were just filthy.”

I chuckled at this, then suddenly laughed out loud when I realized she wasn’t joking. She looked confused, and I just kept laughing, trying to get my head around the idea of Mia, the woman I’d just tied up, tortured, and fucked into near unconsciousness still not wanting to see any nudity.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, slightly offended.

“It’s just…” I said, getting my breath back, “For a slut, you’re just such a prude.”

She laughed with me, seeing the joke.

“Well, that’s different. I mean, I don’t look at that stuff… porn stuff.” she explained.

“No, no, I get it.” I said, still chuckling. “OK, so. Let’s talk. You were crying pretty hard, and I thought you had a higher pain tolerance than that.”

“Well, you should try it!” She said, “That crop hurts.”

“How do you think I got these?” I asked, slowly pulling my arm out from under her head.

I held out my forearm, showing her the bruises.

“You did this to yourself?” she asked, gently touching one of the darker ones.

“I wanted to know how much it hurt.” I explained, putting my arm around her again. “So I’d know what you were feeling.”

“So… is that like a sadism thing?” she asked. “Wanting to know exactly what… what kind of pain are you inflicting?”

That question was worrying but her tone was genuinely curious, if a little nervous.

“I guess it is.” I said, “But don’t change the subject. Was it really just the crop? Plus the clamps I guess…”

“Yeah the clamps were insane. Like, probably the most painful part.” she said, “I was so happy when you took them off for like, half a second, and then I thought you were burning me or something.”

My mind briefly went to the thin, red candles I had secured in my bag of tricks.

“No… no burning yet.” I said ominously.

She laughed, not sure if I was joking.

“Well… anyway, I don’t think it was the pain. I think it was actually the… the gag.”

“Oh really? That seems like a pretty extreme reaction for just a gag.”

“Was it? It was really intense… like…”

She paused, and started to absently trace my collar bone with her finger.

“It’s like… when you tell me not to talk, it’s still my choice, you know? Like… I guess it’s not scary because I have to resist the urge to speak, but I still can speak… but with the gag it was… terrifying.”

She continued to lightly caress my chest with fingers, and started to do the same against my arm with her other hand. She went quiet, gathering her thoughts.

“With the gag, I was completely helpless. I know I was on top, which meant I could stop if I wanted. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted… Well, I wanted to cum. But I couldn’t! I couldn’t even beg! I felt so… powerless, so…”

She sighed, as if searching for the words.

“It’s like the last thing I have, you know? You’ve bound me, blinded me, whipped me… and it’s all exciting and scary and… but when I couldn’t speak… It just seemed to add this whole other terrifying layer to it, like… like I was completely in your power… at your mercy.”

“I see.” I said.

I really hadn’t expected it to affect her so much. The binding seemed to have barely any negative effect, even the first time. The idea of a punishment had shaken her pretty bad at first, but after she got used to it, the pain itself didn’t seem to scare her.

But it made sense, in a way. She used her words to express herself, to defend herself, like we all do. For someone so unsure of who they really are, or for someone who used to be so unsure, anyway… her voice, her eloquence, her venom were a huge part of her.

“So you have a weakness for being gagged.” I said thoughtfully, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

She looked up at me, worried.

“It’s not like… I’m not saying you can’t do it again, if you want. I mean, it was very… effective.”

“Hm. And how do you feel now?”

“Well like I said… really good.” She said, “That’s something I read a lot about, the effect of submission on submissives. It’s not the same for everyone, but for me… it just totally clears my head. It’s… intoxicating, almost. I can just relax. My head is just empty. I could just lie here forever and never worry about a thing. That’s so rare for me… And it lasts, too. For the next few days at least, I know I’ll just be so much calmer. Everything’s easier now, all the stress from school just doesn’t get to me after we… after a night with you.”

“Good.” I said simply. “Good.”

I stroked her head absently, letting myself relax. I’d pushed her hard tonight, seen an extreme emotional reaction, but she was better off for it. This is how it’s supposed to work, I thought to myself. Pain and pleasure. Cruelty and comfort.