Your cock is beautiful – 29

Mia seemed to have guilt over even having sex at all, or enjoying it.

It suddenly dawned on me that Mia and I had incredibly different views about what we were doing. She was so repressed when it came to sex. This is something I already knew in a sense, but for some reason I’d never considered exactly how it might affect her.

“What I’m trying to say is that when I call you a slut, I don’t necessarily mean it in a bad way.” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with liking sex. You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

“I can’t really help it.” she said quietly.

“Well… try.” I said uselessly. “You don’t have to let other people’s labels matter to you. Sex isn’t something to be ashamed of. “

There was a thoughtful silence. I lay down again, carrying her with me. I found myself noticing how much I loved the feeling of her body against mine, her soft heat enveloping me.

“Culture…” she said thoughtfully. “I’ve never heard you talk like this before. About culture, and society. Are you interested in that kind of stuff?”

“Uh, I was for a while.” I said, closing my eyes, glad we’d moved away from the heavier topics. “I used to read about it a lot.”

“For school?” she asked.

“Nah, I was just interested in it.”

“Not any more?” she asked.

“Well sometimes, but it’s not what I’ve been reading recently.”

“What have you been reading recently, then?” she asked.

I yawned loudly, and shifted to get more comfortable.

“Umm… Well, last night I was reading about Astrology.” I said, “And about how horoscopes and stuff like that are usually just vague general statements that most people can relate to.”

“Really?” she said.

“Yeah, they’re called Barnum statements… like, people will read these sentences and claim that they’re designed for them personally, when they’re actually just generic descriptions of personality traits and vague events that everyone experiences to some extent. Called the Forer effect, I think.”

I yawned again.

“From there I clicked on a link about… Cold Reading, which is a technique fake psychics use to-“

I suddenly opened my eyes, realizing I was just rambling about random crap I’d read online. I shook my head slightly, fighting off the fog of sleep.

“Why are we talking about this?” I said, mostly to myself.

“That’s really cool.” she said, sounding excited, “So you just read about all this different stuff?”

“Um…pretty much.” I answered.

“Cool.” she said again, “You know, you’re smarter than I thought.”

There was a slight pause as we both thought about her last comment.

I suddenly felt her stiffen in fear, and she let out an odd squeak.

“I… I didn’t mean-” she started.

“Relax.” I interrupted. “I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re being deliberately insulting.”

“Sorry.” she half whispered. “I just meant… you’re so quiet… it’s good to hear you actually talking about something you’re interested in.”

“Hm.”, was all I responded with.

“Is that really how you think about things?” she asked thoughtfully.

“What do I think about things?” I asked.

“Like… like you don’t care what anyone else thinks?”

Did I say that? I couldn’t remember…

“Mostly.” I answered, “I just try to focus on what I think about myself, what I know about myself. I don’t need validation from anyone else, you know? Or… that’s the idea, at least.”

“Hm.” she responded. “You’re a lot smarter than I thought.”

She said this with such a thoughtful tone. For some reason I started to panic.

What was I doing? Telling her about my interests, my opinions, my fucking feelings? Mia was not my girlfriend. Why was she even still here?

I was suddenly angry at myself for talking to her at all. I didn’t have to share anything with her. She’d spent years hating me, who the fuck was she to suddenly start caring about me?

“Alright, it’s time to go.” I said.

“Right now?” she asked.

“Right now.” I said, forcing my voice to be cold and uncaring.

“Ok.” she sighed, although there was humor in her voice.

She sat up and paused for a few seconds before she leaned in for a kiss. I gripped her face hard, stopping her. She smiled. Why was she smiling? I led her closer to me, bringing her lips so close to mine. She kept her eyes open, and didn’t try to lean in any further. She just waited.

I thought about kissing her, her lips on mine, exploring each other’s mouths in that intimate and pleasurable way.

“Go.” I said, releasing her.

She smirked and leaned in to kiss me again, slowly, hesitantly.

I allowed her lips to softly brush mine, and then I slapped her face. She squeaked with surprise and pain.

“You don’t kiss me.” I said. I’d thought this rule was clear already. “If you want a kiss, you beg for it, understand?”

“Yes Sir.” she said quickly, holding her cheek.

Why the fuck was she still smiling?

“Will you please kiss me, Sir?” she asked sweetly.

“No.” I said sternly.

She nodded once, still with that stupid knowing smirk on her face, and then slid out my bed

She picked up her lingerie, and then paused. She turned with her mouth open, as if to say something. She seemed to reconsider, closing her mouth and shaking her head.

And then reconsidered again.

“Thank you, Sir.” she said.

“No problem.” I said turning away from her, once again unsure about what exactly she was thanking me for.

“Goodnight.” She sang happily.

I didn’t answer.

I waited until the door was closed before I let out the breath I’d been holding.

Something about all this was making me uncomfortable. The way she smiled at me, like she could see something I couldn’t. And why was I blushing?

“Wow, you’re a lot smarter than I thought!” I mocked aloud, mimicking her voice.

I scoffed angrily. I pulled my blanket around my shoulders and tried to fall asleep, willing all that fatigue that I’d barely been holding back to sweep me away. My last thoughts were of the future. The toys I’d bought, and how exactly I would use them.

My fantasies drifted into my dreams, and my head was filled with nothing but Mia, all her different faces, all the ways I knew her.

Mia the Valedictorian, the future Law Student.

Mia the Good Daughter.

Mia the Best Friend.

Mia the Bitch.

Mia the Slut.

My Mia.

Mine.