I was afraid her screams would attract attention, so I took my hand from her ass and covered her mouth as she shrieked out her obscene pleasure, her pussy pumping, her internal muscles pulling at me as she humped and jerked and came. And came and came and came.
Chapter 2
For a long, expectant moment Novaclung to me, in the darkened auditorium, her hips still writhing in the aftermath of her orgasm, her eyes closed and yet a look of unmistakable sensual satisfaction spread across her face. It was almost as if she were two different people, as if her pussy no longer took orders from her mind.
I could feel her sense of relief, not only at her orgasmic explosion but that her secret was out at last, that I’d seen her most hidden needs, but covering that was a deep shame and quivering fear of what I’d think of her now that she’d revealed herself. Perhaps her pleasure had been worth it, but now it remained to be seen what I thought of her and how I’d treat her—whether I’d lost all respect for her.
She opened her eyes cautiously, her chest still heaving as she gasped for breath, afraid to look at me, afraid of what she’d see, and I knew that if I wanted to throw her down on one of the tables and fuck her blind like my body was urging me to do right then she could hardly stop me, but that would be the end of things between us. She’d see the whole experience as nothing more than a seduction and semi-rape and write me off as someone who saw her as nothing more than a slut and a whore and an easy piece of ass, and that was the last thing I wanted.
“Are you all right?” I asked her.
She nodded uncertainty. Her hand was still clutching her skirt up, and now I pulled it from her grasp and lowered it, then smoothed it over her thighs. I reached up and she flinched as I started to button her blouse, then she took over for me and finished it herself.
“Are you ashamed?”
She shook her head in denial, but I could see tears in her eyes.
To have said anything more at the time would have been wrong, would have seemed patronizing. To have held her against me and let her feel my erection and need would have been wrong as well, but to hold her protectively, to shield her from her own feelings—to at least try—that I could do, and I put one arm around her and cradled her head against my chest.
She was stiff and brittle and I felt her heart racing against me.
“This isn’t the casual thing you think, Emma,” I said. “You don’t know how long I’ve been thinking about you, wondering if you might be the one, if you had the gift.”
“Gift?” Her voice was small and uncertain.
“Yes. Gift. What you gave me tonight was a gift, and you have no idea what it means to me. I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I don’t want this to be the last time.”
She lifted her head away from my chest and looked at the floor. “No,” she said. “It’s wrong. There’s something wrong with me and I know it. I shouldn’t be like this and I shouldn’t want these things and I try not to. I try not to think about them because I know they’re wrong.”
“No,” I said. I grabbed her head and made her look at me. “It’s not wrong. It’s not wrong at all. You read my stories, They’re real Emma. Maybe not what happened there, but the feelings are real. Like poetry. Is there something wrong with me too, then? Is there something wrong because we feel so deeply?”
“But no one else—”
“Fuck everyone else. What do they know? You’ve seen those clubs in class, how the words go right by their heads. What do they know? What do most of the people in the world know? You feel, Emma. You feel much more deeply than most of the people in the world do, and it’s a gift. You think it’s a sickness but it’s a gift, and I want to show you how to use it. You don’t know what kind of treasure you have inside, but I do. Look— Grab your books and come with me. Come on…”
I picked up my briefcase and Nova Took a moment to wipe her eyes and straighten her clothes, then retrieved her books and I held the door for her. We walked out into the hallway where the lights were already mostly off for the cleaning crew. Far down the corridor someone was vacuuming the carpet, and now that we were out in public our recent intimacy seemed to tie us even more closely together.