Your cock is beautiful – 35

“Your cock is beautiful” Part-35 Continues…..

“Mike had a tiny dick.” she said defensively.

“Did he ever kiss you?” I asked.

She furrowed her brow.

“Of course he kissed me, he was my boyfriend.” she said.

“Did it feel the same as when I kiss you?” I asked.

She paused.

“And I assume he played with your tits whenever he got the chance. Did it feel as good as when I do it?” I asked.

“No! Ok? No, he never turned me on like you do, is that what you want to hear? Does that make you feel important?” she shouted.

“This isn’t about me!” I raised my voice slightly, “All I do is hurt you. When I kiss you, I either violate your mouth with my tongue, or I bite your lip so hard you almost bleed. You literally did bleed the first time! When I play with your nipples, I twist them until you scream. That’s how you want it.”

She flinched again at my harsh tone.

“That’s… no, that’s not right…” she said.

How could she be in so much denial? After all the things we’d done together?

“You told me yourself, I remember what you said right before I fucked you for the first time, you said… ‘I like it when you hurt me, it makes me feel like I’m yours.’ You don’t want a boyfriend, Stella. You don’t want me to get over my anger or to start treating you like an equal. You want to be used. To be fucked. To belong to me.”

“Stop it.” she said.

She’d said all this to me herself, why was she still fighting it?

“Stella-“

“No, stop! Just… just shut up!” she shouted. “Just shut the fuck up!”

For a few seconds we just sat silently in the dark.

“It’s been a while since you talked to me like that.” I said eventually, smiling tiredly.

“Oh, what are you gonna do, whip me again?” she hissed.

“Keep it up and I probably will, yeah.” I said.

“What if I don’t let you?” she said. “What if I don’t just bend over and accept it?”

“Then I won’t do it.” I said.

“So… so really, I can do whatever I want and you can’t stop me.” she said with a challenging tone.

“I can leave.” I answered, meeting her eyes.

She frowned, then sighed shakily.

“So that’s it.” She said, “I’ll let you treat me like a slut or I won’t get you at all.”

“That’s it.” I said.

She seemed to think on this for a second. In the low light it looked like she was just pouting at me, but then I saw a tear well up in her eye. She cried silently, tears running down her cheeks. She covered her eyes with her arm for a second, then wiped the tears away.

I didn’t know what to say to her. This wasn’t how I’d thought this conversation would go. Well, maybe that was because I’d never seriously considered having this conversation with her.

“Is this really so bad, though?” I asked, “I mean, no one’s getting hurt…”

I trailed off as she snorted with laughter, then wiped away another tear.

“Right, bad wording.” I said, smiling, “Well, no-one else is getting hurt, and when you do get hurt, it’s always something you agree to…”

She was quiet for a while, thinking about what I said.

“I want you to decide… if this is still what you want.” I said.

She just looked at me, her expression unreadable.

“Decide if you still want to belong to me. To be mine. You need to think about what that means, and decide if it’s a relationship that can make you happy.”

Despite everything, I half expected an immediate agreement, another confession of her undying love.

But she just nodded and looked away.

“I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want a girlfriend.” I said, “I never misled you about anything. This is… this is how I need things to be.”

“I get it.” she said, a touch of bitterness in her voice.

She lay down on the bed and tried to relax, letting out a deep breath, but she still held her body too stiffly.

“We can keep talking about it, if you want.” I said.

She didn’t look at me.

“Actually…” she said, “I think… I need to be alone.”

I opened my mouth in surprise. That stung.

“Fine.” I said, trying to sound neutral and calm.

I got up and left without another word passing between us.

I crossed the hallway to the guest room, got in and lay down on the blanket without undressing. How long was I going to be here? How long did she need to think?

God, why did it hurt so much to be asked to leave? Was it just a bruised ego, for once not having her fawn over me and worship me? Well, partly.

But mostly I was worried. Genuinely worried that she wouldn’t want me again. Worried that by tormenting her instead of being honest with her from the start that I’d ruined everything for good.

But I didn’t even like her at first, I reasoned. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to hurt her in the first place. It was that original dark desire that led to all my sexual self-discovery, there was no possible way I could have handled this properly. Responsibly, like I should have.

I cringed as I remembered all that justification to myself, telling myself over and over that she wanted it and I didn’t owe her any explanation. I’d been dragging her into this unknown world of pain and control, and she responded to it better than I’d ever hoped, but had no guidance or information to help her.

I’d failed her. And worse, somewhere along the line I’d started to actually care about her. That thought irritated me. I started this all for revenge and I’d ended up getting too attached to her to even enjoy it.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. I thought about her there, alone, confused, and utterly vulnerable. Even as the guilt clutched at my stomach, I felt that same glow of sadistic satisfaction. I pictured her crying, begging me to treat her better but knowing I never would.

I could break her heart right now, if I hadn’t already. Just by saying a few simple words… I could destroy her.

And a part of me still wanted to.

I hated myself for it.

==

I woke up to Stella’s voice softly calling my name.

“Steven.” she said, her hand against my cheek.

I sat up quickly, causing her to jump back in surprise. It was completely dark in the room. I was still lying on the bed, in my clothes.

“What?” I asked groggily.

She didn’t say anything, but just reached out to take my hand. I silently followed her lead. She pulled me off the bed and walked me out the door and back over to her room.

Your cock is beautiful – 35 will continue on the next page