“Pleasures with guilt” Part-9 Continues…..
Sophia was sitting on the couch next to Jared examining his eye when Rob and I came in. Bill had already walked over to the bar, pouring us all fresh drinks, including one for Jared.
“Well it’s not cut, but you might very well end up with a black eye,” Sophia told her son. She sat back looking at him. “So what happened anyway?”
Accepting his drink from Bill, Jared took a large healthy swallow of it before speaking. He looked nervous for a moment, and then simply said it. “I’d invited Cheryl over,” he began looking towards Bill and Sophia for any signs of disapproval, he found none. “She’d come over around eight just as we’d discussed, and hadn’t been there for even five minutes before there was another knock on the door
. I actually figured it was the pizza guy, as I’d ordered one and was expecting it at any moment. Anyway, I was actually looking through my wallet as I opened the door. Before I knew what was happening, Andrew, Cheryl’s old boyfriend, suddenly grabbed my hand, yanking me outside. That’s when his friend hit me.”
“His friend?” Bill said angrily. “You mean there were two of them?”
“Three actually,” Jared said, “Though the other guy seemed less than sure about being there, or watching what had just happened. But that’s when Andrew starts yelling at me about fucking his girlfriend. HIS girlfriend he’s standing there screaming. And then he takes a swing at me, but this time I knew it was coming, and ducked under his swing, coming up with one of my own to his gut. I must have caught him just right because I knocked the wind out of him and he went down to his knees. The other guy however charged me,
knocking me off my feet, yelling for the other guy with them to join in. But thankfully he didn’t. We exchanged a few punches, but by this time, Cheryl’s outside screaming for the three of them to leave me alone. I think Andrew was embarrassed because I had taken the fight out of him as he grabbed the guy I’d actually been fighting with and headed back out to his car.”
“We should file a report!” Sophia suddenly announced. “They assaulted you!”
“No mom, I’m ok really. And to be honest with you, I’m not really mad at Andrew because of what he did. Cheryl finally admitted she was still seeing him. She said something about she had been intending to break up with him, and just hadn’t got around to it yet. When I heard that, then I knew she’d been lying to me about a number of things. For one…she was still sleeping with Andrew,
waiting to see how we ended up before making any decisions about our relationship. I guess now, she won’t have to worry about that any more. Shortly after her boyfriend and his friends left, I asked her to leave, told her I didn’t want to see her any more. After that, I decided to drive up here. I didn’t want her bugging me or trying to find me, which I know she will.”
Jared took another sip of his drink, and then apologetically looked at us. “I’m sorry if I screwed up your evening.”
Jared’s comment was a reminder of what the four of us had been doing just before he’d arrived. With each of us wearing nothing else but towels at the moment, it was a pretty good indication of what we might have been in the middle of when he’d showed up interrupting all that. I actually felt a little awkward and more than a bit embarrassed as I sat there.
“Listen, I really am sorry. But if I could just spend the night, I’ll head back in the morning, by then I hope Cheryl will have given up any attempt to actually see me when she realizes I meant what I said.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sophia told him. “I told you, you were more than welcome to come up and join us in the first place, there’s plenty of room here so you can spend the night.”
I noticed that Bill’s look was less than enthusiastic upon hearing that, but then so was Rob’s, even though Bill tried smiling with understanding towards his son upon hearing Sophia say that.
But it was clearly evident the night was basically over. Rob and I soon excused ourselves and said good night, wishing Jared well though he did accept a kiss from me on the cheek, blushing a little when he did. Sophia smiled, likewise wishing us goodnight, and we soon after retired into our own bedroom. Something, we hadn’t exactly been planning on doing for a while. With the mood gone however, I made ready for bed slipping between the sheets a while later. Rob’s snore told me he was already fast asleep by the time I joined him.
As I lay there in the darkness, I couldn’t help wondering what the rest of the weekend was now going to be like. The answer to that would come sooner than I could have ever expected.
**
I lay there in bed for the next twenty minutes tossing and turning trying to go to sleep. I realized I couldn’t, I was still wide awake. Rolling out of bed in nothing more than one of Rob’s long tee shirts and nothing else, I decided to head out and pour myself another glass of wine, hoping that might do the trick. The only light that was on was near the bar so I headed towards it. Finding an open bottle of wine I poured myself a glass, and then jumped when I heard Sophia’s voice calling out to me from the darkened patio.
“Mind pouring me one too please?”
“Fuck Sue! You scared the shit out of me, thought you’d gone to bed!”
“Thought you had too,” she chuckled, accepting her wine from me as I came out, taking a seat next to her there on the patio. She was still naked, having thrown the towel she’d been wearing around the back of the chair. She hadn’t bothered putting anything else on, though the darkness pretty much concealed her nudity should anyone get up or walk by.
“How’s Jared?”
“He’s fine…except for the black eye I still think he’s going to have in the morning, ” sounds to me like he got the better of the other two. But I am a little worried about something else, something he told me after I went into his room to check on him before I ended up coming out here.”
“What?”
“He really is pretty confused about a few things, even told me that, though he refused to tell me exactly what it was that was honestly bothering him. Only that he was glad he hadn’t done anything with Cheryl, because he’s known, and felt all along that she wasn’t the right one, and that he didn’t want to have sex just for the sake of having sex the first time without it being someone he really cares about.
But he also told me…there was someone, someone he did want to do it with, though he refused to tell me who it was. He said he’d pretty much made up his mind about it, and that that’s how he felt. But he refused to say anything more to me about it. But I could tell it was really bothering him.”
“I can certainly understand that,” I told her. “But he didn’t tell you who it was then?”
“No, he didn’t. Only that. Only that he knew who he wanted to be with, but he also realized, it wasn’t likely going to happen.” Sophia then turned back towards me, smiling. “I think Jen…he was talking about you. But I think what’s confusing him, is he knows this isn’t something that can, or will continue, even if it does happen. But I’m almost positive now, he’s made up his mind about it too, and the person he really wants to be with for the first time, is you.”
I sat back in my chair thinking about it. If it was true, then I had to rethink things myself too, not to mention discussing it once again with Rob, though in essence, like we’d already agreed, the week wasn’t technically over yet.
“There was one other thing he also said, which bothered me even more than what he obviously refused to tell me.”
“Oh? And what was that?”
“He told me that he’s also confused about himself for another reason. Something he hasn’t quite been able to put his finger on yet. He told me that at times he doesn’t feel like he really fits in somehow, and that he’s not even sure of who he is himself at times, or why he thinks or feels about some of the things that he does, the way that he does.”
I sat back sipping my wine, digesting for a moment what she’d said. “I wouldn’t be too worried that he said that,” I assured her. “I think a lot of young men of Jared’s age probably ask themselves that very same question. You know, emotional growing pains. I’m confident that in time, Jared will figure out what it is he wants to do in life, what he wants to become.”
“It’s not that Jen,” Sophia said, sounding very serious. “I think Jared has a pretty good idea of what he wants to do…I think he was being literal in the sense that he doesn’t know or understand who he really is. And with good reason perhaps.”
“Why do you say that?”
Even in the darkness I could see the worried look in my friend’s eyes as she turned a bit further in her seat facing me. “Something I’ve never told you, something Bill and I decided to keep to ourselves, right or wrong…but you see Jen, Jared’s not our son. He’s adopted.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather after I’d heard that. Though now knowing that, a few things made a bit more sense. As much as I’d looked for it, tried to see it, I saw no resemblance in Jared for either one of his parents. And the fact he was an only child had always seemed a bit strange to me in the beginning,
though Sophia had early on in our friendship informed me it was their decision to only have one child, and that she had soon after had her tubes tied. She now informed me, she had never been able to have children either, just like myself. Another bond between us that she had known, and I hadn’t.
“Anyway, I hope you’re not mad at me for not telling you all this before now. It’s just that we wanted to protect Jared, now I’m not so sure we made the right choice. Perhaps we should have discussed this with him years ago, explained it to him then, that he was adopted.”
“It’s not too late for that,” I told her seriously. “Jared is an adult now, he has the right to know. And it sounds to me like he’s at a point in his life that he needs to know. Maybe once he does, he’ll be better able to decide who he really is, and just exactly what he wants out of life.”